HOW DID ALLAH PERMIT THE STRIKING OF WOMEN?
FIQH
ASH-SHAYKH MU'TASIM AS-SAYYID AHMAD
5 min read
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What is the intended meaning of the word "waḍribūhunna" واضربوهنّ in the Qur'an?
It is argued that a religion as elevated, refined, and profound as Islam—a religion that does not permit harm to even a cat—cannot endorse the striking, harming, or degrading of a wife. The interpretation here suggests that "striking" refers to separation and distancing, not physical hitting or other forms of physical harm.
In Arabic lexicons, linguistic texts, and grammar books, if we examine the usage of the word "ḍaraba," we find, for example, phrases like:
"Ḍaraba al-dahru bayna al-qawm"; ضرب الدهر بين القوم [Time separated and distanced the people from each other].
"Ḍaraba ʿalayhi al-ḥiṣār"; ضرب عليه الحصار [He was isolated or cut off from his surroundings].
"Ḍaraba ʿunuqahu" (He severed his neck from his body).
Thus, the term "ḍarb" conveys meanings of separation, distancing, and disengagement. Numerous verses in the Qur'an use "ḍarb" in this same sense, signifying separation and disengagement rather than physical striking.
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Dear reader, know that the answer to this question will become clear after discussing certain points related to this ruling, through which the error made by the questioner will be revealed. Here are the key aspects:
Firstly: In the verse:
وَاللّاتِي تَخَافُونَ نُشُوزَهُنَّ فَعِظُوهُنَّ وَاهْجُرُوهُنَّ فِي الْمَضَاجِعِ وَاضْرِبُوهُنَّ فَإِنْ أَطَعْنَكُمْ فَلاَ تَبْغُواْ عَلَيْهِنَّ سَبِيلًا إِنَّ اللّهَ كَانَ عَلِيًّا كَبِيرًا
“As for those women on whose part you fear disobedience, admonish them, then leave them alone in the sleeping-places, then strike them. But if they obey you, do not seek a way against them. Indeed, Allah is ever Exalted and Great” [1]
This verse addresses the issue of resolving disobedience [nushuz] by a wife, referring to a wife who defies her husband, rebels against marital obligations, and refuses to fulfil her responsibilities toward him.
The verse presents three progressive solutions to address this problem.
The first solution, which is admonishment, is to be implemented first. If it proves ineffective, the second solution, abandonment in bed, is to be applied. If this too fails, the third solution, striking, is mentioned as a final resort.
Secondly: The verse explicitly prohibits striking a woman in any circumstance unless she is disobedient [nashiz]. This is evident from the concluding part of the verse:
فَإِنْ أَطَعْنَكُمْ فَلاَ تَبْغُواْ عَلَيْهِنَّ سَبِيلًا إِنَّ اللّهَ كَانَ عَلِيًّا كَبِيرًا
"But if they obey you, do not seek a way against them. Indeed, Allah is ever Exalted and Great" [2]
Furthermore, the Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him and his family, prohibited striking women in matters where it is not obligatory. [3]
Additionally, Abu Ja‘far (peace be upon him) narrated that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him and his family) said:
أيضرب أحدكم المرأة ثمّ يظلّ معانقها
"Would any of you strike his wife and then remain in her embrace?" [4]
Thirdly: Islam has emphasized in numerous texts the importance of respecting and honoring women, preserving their dignity, and treating them with kindness. The Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him and his family, said:
خِياركم خِياركم لأهله
"The best of you are the best to their families" [5]
He also stated:
ومَن اتّخذ زوجةً فليُكرمها
"Whoever takes a wife should honour her" [6]
Additionally, the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him and his family, said:
أخبرني أخي جبرائيل، ولم يَزل يُوصيني بالنساء حتّى ظَننتُ أنْ لا يَحلّ لزوجها أنْ يقول لها: أفٍّ ! يا مُحمّد، اتّقوا اللّه عزّ وجلّ في النساء، فإنّهنّ عَوان بين أيديكم، أخذتموهنّ على أمانات اللّه ـ إلى أنْ قال ـ فأشفِقوا عليهنّ وطيّبوا قلوبهنّ حتّى يَقفنَ معكم، ولا تُكرِهوا النساء ولا تُسخِطوا بهنّ"
"My brother Jibril continued to advise me regarding women until I thought that it is not permissible for a husband to even say ‘Uff’ to her. O Muhammad, fear Allah concerning women, for they are entrusted to you. You have taken them as a trust from Allah… so be compassionate towards them and be kind to their hearts so that they may stand by you. Do not compel or anger women." [7]
And it has been narrated from Imam Ali, peace be upon him, that he said:
فداروهنّ على كلّ حال، وأَحسِنوا لهنّ المقال، لعلّهنّ يحسنّ الفعال
"Treat them kindly in all situations, and speak to them gently, that they may act kindly in return." [8]
And he [Imam Ali], peace be upon him, has said:
وأمّا حقّ الزوجة فإن تعلم أنّ الله عزّ وجلّ جعلها لك سكنا وأنسا فتعلم أنّ ذلك نعمة من الله عزّ وجلّ عليك فتكرمها وترفق بها وان كانت حقّك عليها أوجب فإنّ لها عليك أن ترحمها لأنّها أسيرك وتطعمها وتكسوها وإذا جهلت عفوت عنها
"As for the right of your wife, you should know that Allah, the Glorified, has made her a source of tranquillity and comfort for you. Therefore, you should regard this as a blessing from Allah and honour her and treat her kindly. Even though your right over her is greater, she still has a right over you—that you show mercy to her, for she is your captive. Feed her, clothe her, and if she acts ignorantly, forgive her." [9]
Fourthly: Regarding striking, Islamic texts have clarified and restricted it, emphasizing that it must not be severe or cause pain. This type of striking differs from the common understanding of physical punishment. It is not intended to inflict harm or damage but rather serves as a symbolic act of protest or objection.
For this reason, the texts explicitly prohibit using any tools for striking. It is not permissible to strike with wood, whips, or similar objects. If necessary, the act should be performed with something as light as a miswāk (toothstick), and even then, striking the face is strictly forbidden.
The Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him and his family, said:
فأيّ رجل لطم امرأته لطمة أمر الله عزّ وجلّ مالك خازن النيران فيلطمه على حرّ وجهه سبعين لطمة في نار جهنّم
"If any man slaps his wife, Allah, the Exalted, will command Malik, the keeper of Hell, to slap him on his face seventy times in the fire of Hell." [10]
The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him and his family, also stated:
إنّي أتعجّب ممّن يضرب امرأته وهو بالضرب أولى منها، لا تضربوا نساءكم بالخشب، فإنّ فيه القصاص، ولكن اضربوهن بالجوع والعريّ حتّى تربحوا في الدنيا والآخرة
"I am astonished by a man who strikes his wife when he himself is more deserving of being struck. Do not strike your wives with sticks, for this entails retribution. Instead, discipline them through hunger and deprivation so that you may succeed in both this world and the Hereafter." [11]
Additionally, in Fiqh al-Riḍā (peace be upon him), it is mentioned:
والضرب بالسواك وشبهه ضرباً رفيقاً" أيْ برِفقٍ
"Striking should be done with a miswāk or similar object, and it must be gentle." [12]
Based on the above discussion, it becomes clear that interpreting the term “ḍarb” (striking) in this verse as separation or distancing—as suggested in the question—is inconsistent with its common linguistic understanding and involves an unnecessary overinterpretation. The meaning of “ḍarb” in common usage is straightforward, and numerous Qur’anic verses confirm this conventional understanding. For instance:
In the verse:
فَقُلْنَا اضْرِبُوهُ بِبَعْضِهَا كَذَلِكَ يُحْيِي اللَّهُ الْمَوْتَى
“So We said, ‘Strike him with part of it.’ Thus does Allah bring the dead to life” [13]Does “ḍarb” here mean separation and distancing, or does it refer to striking the dead body with part of the cow's flesh?
Similarly, in the verse:
فَرَاغَ عَلَيْهِمْ ضَرْبًا بِالْيَمِينِ
“Then he turned upon them, striking them with his right hand” [14]
Meaning: Prophet Ibrahim, peace be upon him, struck the idols with his right hand [not that he distanced or separated himself from them]Another example is:
وَلَوْ تَرَى إِذْ يَتَوَفَّى الَّذِينَ كَفَرُوا الْمَلَائِكَةُ يَضْرِبُونَ وُجُوهَهُمْ وَأَدْبَارَهُمْ وَذُوقُوا عَذَابَ الْحَرِيقِ
“If only you could see when the angels take the souls of those who disbelieved, striking their faces and their backs, [saying], ‘Taste the punishment of the Burning Fire’” [15]
4. And His saying:فَكَيْفَ إِذَا تَوَفَّتْهُمُ الْمَلَائِكَةُ يَضْرِبُونَ وُجُوهَهُمْ وَأَدْبَارَهُمْ
“But how [will it be] when the angels take them in death, striking their faces and their backs?” [16]And His Statement:
وَخُذْ بِيَدِكَ ضِغْثًا فَاضْرِبْ بِهِ
“And take in your hand a bundle [of sticks] and strike with it” [17]
refers to striking with a physical object.And His Statement:
اضْرِبْ بِعَصَاكَ الْحَجَرَ فَانْفَجَرَتْ مِنْهُ
“Strike the stone with your staff, and there gushed forth from it twelve springs” [18]
The bursting forth is the result of striking, which involves hitting the stone with the staff.
And other similar texts cannot reasonably be interpreted to imply separation or distancing, as is evident.
References
[1] The Holy Qur'an 4:34
[2] The Holy Qur'an 4:34
[3] Jami' Ahadith Ash-Shi'a, As-Sayyid Al-Burujardi, Volume 20, Page 248
The Shi'ite Scholar Sayyid Al-Burujardi has said:
786 (20) الدعائم 217 ج 2 - عن رسول الله صلى الله عليه وآله أنه نهى عن ضرب النساء في غير واجب
786 [20] Al-Daʿaʾim 217, Volume 2, From the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him and his family: "He prohibited striking women except in what is obligatory."
[4] Jami' Ahadith Ash-Shi'a, As-Sayyid Al-Burujardi, Volume 20, Page 247
[5] Bihar Al-Anwar, Al-ʿAllamah Al-Majlisi, Volume 76, Page 268
[6] Mustadrak Al-Wasa'il, Al-Mirza An-Nuri, Volume 3, Page 280
[7] Mustadrak Al-Wasa'il, Al-Mirza An-Nuri, Volume 14, Page 252-253
[8] Bihar Al-Anwar, Al-ʿAllamah Al-Majlisi, Volume 100, Page 223
[9] Jami' Ahadith Ash-Shi'a, As-Sayyid Al-Burujardi, Volume 14, Page 103
[10] Jami' Ahadith Ash-Shi'a, As-Sayyid Al-Burujardi, Volume 20, Page 249
[11] Mustadrak Al-Wasa'il, Al-Mirza An-Nuri, Volume 14, Page 250
[12] Fiqh al-Ridā , Shaykh Ali bin Babawayh, Page 245
[13] The Holy Qur'an 2:73
[14] The Holy Qur'an 37:93
[15] The Holy Qur'an 8:50
[16] The Holy Qur'an 47:27
[17] The Holy Qur'an 38:44
[18] The Holy Qur'an 2:60
The original text in Arabic can be found here
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